November 24, 2015
From the Desk of Amy Waterman:
If dating advice REALLY worked as it was advertised ... wouldn't you be with someone by now?
Ever asked yourself that question? I sure have.
There’s dating advice EVERYWHERE. On TV. In magazines. Online. Weighing down the shelves at the bookstore.
Just as there’s more dating advice than ever, there are MORE single people than ever.
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
I’m Amy Waterman, and I know a thing or two about dating advice.
As a dating & relationships expert for the past decade, I’ve had to ask myself some difficult questions. Such as…
Why does it feel like the more dating advice you READ, the more you NEED?
Wouldn’t you think - with so much good advice out there - NO ONE would have problems with relationships anymore?
But we do.
I know it and you know it.
Women can’t find the right guy. Guys can’t find the right woman. What is UP with that?
Surely there’s some reason that being a virtual expert in the science of attracting men doesn't do you any good when it comes to actually attracting one?
Those are the kinds of questions that have worried away at the back of my mind for years, because they haven't seemed to have any answer.
At least, they haven't until now.
You see, I’ve got a hunch.
It took me most of the past ten years to figure it out, but I’d put good money that there’s SOMETHING we’ve all been missing.
Something we HAVE TO HAVE before all the other dating advice we’ve imbibed will work.
A foundation, so to speak, that you have to lay down before you can start seeing results.
Want to know what it is? Of course you do!
I’ll give you the secret, but you have to give me something first.
The thing you’ve got to give me is your time.
Get a cup of coffee – okay, a bottle of water will do, you healthy thing - and sit down with me.
For less than the time it would take you to go on a first date, I’m going to lead you on a brief journey of discovery. If you stick with me, you will discover:
|Why you’re wrong to think that being single sucks and you’ll never find anyone no matter what you do.|
|Why the reason for your uncoupled status has less to do with fate/bad luck & MORE to do with something you do every day – maybe even every MINUTE.|
|Why men are afraid of you. Of course they are - you didn’t know that?|
|The ways in which you’re totally wasting your time trying to be more attractive to men.|
|The secret technique men use to make you fall at their feet – and how you can steal it from them.|
|How feel SO MENTALLY STRONG with men that fears and doubts just disappear.|
Do we have a deal? Great, let's get started then.
Does being single make you feel powerless?
Like you’re not in control of your life? Like someone else is in charge, probably a man?
Ever think it’s a cruel joke of the universe that the ONE THING you want more than anything else in the world – someone to love you with all his heart until the end of time – isn’t in your hands? You can get a triple venti soy no-foam latte but you can’t get Mr. Perfect on a plate?
Yeah, well, get over it. Seriously.
The truth and reality is that:
It’s an incredibly POWERFUL time in your life, being single.
There is no other time in your life that you will have such powers of SELF-CREATION.
- The power to find out who you are.
- The power to stand on your own two feet and feel confidence radiating from your pores.
- The power to do anything and everything YOU want to do.
Sure, at times you might feel lonely or think how nice it would be to have someone to do something with or wonder if you’ll ever find someone who treats you the way you deserve.
But the advantages you’ve got put you in the power seat.
Your biggest advantage? (This may surprise you.)
It’s the TIME you’re living in right now.
This is the single BEST time in the entire HISTORY of Western civilization to be a single woman.
Just think about what your grandmother or great-grandmother would have experienced if she were a single woman at your age living your lifestyle. Think she would have had it easy? Do you think she could have enjoyed the freedoms you enjoy?
Being a single woman of a certain age no longer makes you part of a suspect minority. You’re actually in the MAJORITY.
And that’s brand-new. The world has NEVER been like this before.
Bloomberg.com tell us:
“Single Americans make up more than half of the adult population for the FIRST time
since the government began compiling such statistics in 1976.”
So think on that. Are you unlucky to be single? Or are you simply NORMAL?
For the first time in history, you can expect that more than half the people you meet will be single.
Those odds are seriously in YOUR favor!
The forces of commerce (e.g., companies and businesses) have cottoned on to the fact that singles make up a HUGE potential market, so opportunities targeted to those single-and-searching souls proliferate by the day. (Tinder, anyone?)
Think of it as there being a HUGE MACHINE out there, crunching data and calculating probabilities and focusing its entire intent on bringing YOU exactly what you want.
Why else would there be rows of dating books in your local bookshop or library? Endless talk shows featuring love doctors? Dating tips on the cover of every single glossy woman’s magazine?
And let’s not forget the internet. You’d get CRUSHED under the weight of Google’s search results for “dating advice.”
So, are you on your own as a single woman?
Heck no you’re not.
You are ENTIRELY supported in your quest to find a relationship that WORKS just as you want it to.
Let me take a guess:
I bet this isn’t the first dating site you’ve ever looked at for advice. ;-)
Let me take an even wilder guess:
If I could magically see you bookshelf or e-reader right now, I bet I'd find at least one title on attracting, romancing or understanding men.
We women can’t get enough of dating advice. The more dating advice you read, the more you want to read. You keep reading and reading and reading and …
Does anything really change?
Maybe. Or maybe not.
I’ve got an idea that might be seem a bit crazy:
I think we keep searching out more dating advice because we’re AFRAID.
- We’re afraid that we won’t meet someone.
- We’re afraid that what we know about men isn’t enough.
- We’re afraid that we’re doing something wrong and the only thing that can stop us is that list of “20 Mistakes Smart Women Make in Love” advertised in next month’s Cosmopolitan.
Am I wrong?
Do you feel confident that you’ll meet the perfect man at the perfect time for both of you, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after?
Or do you worry that you are the one person in the universe - maybe the ONLY - who’s not going to meet her match and end up dying alone with too many cats?
Because that’s another thing about us women…
We worry a lot.
We worry we won’t meet someone we like enough to fall in love with, who also likes us enough to fall in love.
We worry that EVEN IF we meet that guy and we both fall in love with each other, we won’t fall in love enough to want to commit to each other for the rest of our lives.
We even worry that EVEN IF we meet that guy and we both fall in love and we both decide to get married, something will happen and he’ll cheat or fall out of love or SOMETHING … and our marriage will be over. And then we’ll have to start over again. But we'll be old.
All that worry makes us act a little funny, and makes some of us turn to mainlining dating advice like it’s our last hope.
Even though, from a totally logical, reasonable and levelheaded standpoint, it would seem CRAZY that any of us would ever doubt our ability to meet and find someone special...
We do because love is so IMPORTANT to us.
Feeling loved makes a difference to our lives. Being loved makes us feel beautiful, cherished, secure, and strong. We look forward to our future more when someone committed is standing by our side.
So there’s no reason to be embarrassed about it. No need to feel like you have to cover up how much of your mental power is taken up thinking and worrying about how you’re going to find that right person.
Don’t let anyone tell you that all that effort is a waste of time or anti-feminist or anything like that.
Finding love MATTERS.
It matters SO much that we can’t help worrying about it, just like we no doubt worried about getting into our college of choice or getting our dream job.
When things in life matter to you, you WORRY about them – right?
But there’s something you should know:
When you worry a LOT about something, it jinxes you.
Ever worried so much about something that you ended up wrecking it? I know I have.
I’ve been so nervous about a date that it ended up disastrous. Ever had that happen to you?
I’ve obsessed so much about what to wear that I’ve ended up feeling awkward all night rather than sexy like I’d intended.
I’ve worried so much about a guy liking me that I’ve probably made him not like me. (Hopefully you’ve never done that?)
The truth is…
A little worry is good.
A little worry that leads to ACTION is even better.
But worry that TAKES OVER your head, makes you OBSESS, and results in your acting like someone WEIRD rather than yourself?
If all the dating advice in the world can’t stop you worrying to the point of obsession about whether you’ll ever find someone, what can?
I wrestled with that question for YEARS.
Part of it was personal; I didn’t want to worry about my own future. I was in my 30s and off the shelf by some people’s standards (though never by my own).
I enjoyed dating, but I was tired of wasting my time with unsuitable men. I had to ask myself: What was I missing? What did I need to do to create the perfect conditions for my perfect match to come along? Surely it had to be easier than what I was doing?
These are questions I’m sure you’ve asked yourself, too.
If you could make dating & relationships your full-time subject of study – call it a major in the University of Love - how long do you think it would take you to master the subject?
1 year? 2 years? 10? Never?
For me, it took about as long as it took me to get my degree in philosophy. And when I say it was just as hard, I mean it.
Then it happened.
The light bulb moment.
I call it my "OMG moment," when suddenly it was like the world burst into color and I saw patterns I’d never seen before.
It struck me WHY all the great dating advice I'd absorbed and taught didn’t always work for everyone.
It didn’t have to do with the advice being bad.
It didn’t have to do with applying it incorrectly.
It had to do with something that was MISSING. A foundational principle, so to speak.
Without this foundation, you could use every dating tip known to womankind and still FAIL at attracting a man.
And what was missing was this:
A little-known secret from the men’s “seduction community,” a theory called…
Ever heard of inner game?
Not many of us have.
Men have known about inner game for years. In fact, it was the men’s seduction community that developed the idea by applying it to dating.
You see, men were having a hard time finding the confidence to approach women.
(You want to know why more men don’t ask you out? They lack the guts to do it. Simple as that.)
Men felt a lot of pressure to be the one to make the first move, but the thought of going up to a woman and asking her out was too scary.
They tried everything else – studying pickup lines, buying a few nice shirts, working out a bit at the gym – but those surface changes could only go so far.
No matter how good a guy looked, no matter how polished his lines, knowing how to look and act couldn’t give him the CONFIDENCE he needed to crack his “approach anxiety” - the term for the fear a man feels at the thought of approaching a woman.
So the men’s seduction community began to draw on the theory of inner game.
According to coaching website theinnergame.com,
“In every human endeavor there are two arenas of engagement: the outer and the inner. The outer game is played on an external arena to overcome external obstacles to reach an external goal. The inner game takes place within the mind of the player and is played against such obstacles as fear, self-doubt, lapses in focus, and limiting concepts or assumptions. The inner game is played to overcome the self-imposed obstacles that prevent an individual or team from accessing their full potential.”
When you take these ideas and apply them to dating, they make perfect sense.
So these men began to realize that it was their THOUGHTS and FEELINGS that were holding them back from approaching women – rather than any external factors like lack of opportunity or not having a great enough bod.
As they developed their inner game, they found ways to motivate themselves, build up their self-confidence, and develop a strong sense of who they were and what they really wanted in the opposite sex.
This powerful inner game ended up leading them to experience greater success in their relationships and all other areas of their life.
And you know what the most incredible bit was?
They didn’t have to change anything about WHO they were. Just WHAT they thought.
Inner game is the secret that unlocks a world of fabulous, joyous relationships.
If you have INNER GAME, it doesn’t matter what you weigh, what you wear, or even whether you brushed your hair that morning.
A person can have strong inner game regardless of whether they have the “right look.”
Inner game happens entirely in the mind, in the realm of your thoughts, feelings and ideas.
It focuses on what you BELIEVE about yourself and how the world works.
It teaches that your beliefs affect your chances of dating success more than ANY other factor, including appearance or sex appeal.
This is pretty radical stuff, to say the least.
If you buy what the fashion and cosmetic giants are selling us, what you look like is EVERYTHING.
We're led to believe that we're supposed to look like sexy babes. If you're sexy, you're cool, and if you're not, well, good luck next time....
But inner game teaches that this is all smoke and mirrors.
Focusing all your efforts on what you look like – applying cosmetics, going on a diet, squeezing into the perfect pair of skinny jeans – distracts you from what REALLY attracts men.
Which isn’t the shape of your body or the fabric clothing it, but rather the WOMAN INSIDE.
You could also call it your consciousness. Your way of being in the world. The “you” that is created by summing up the 60,000 thoughts you have each day.
Inner game works on that level, and it is SERIOUSLY powerful.
If you're thinking...
"Hold on a minute. Are you saying that men are attracted by my consciousness? My thoughts are invisible, so how can he even know what they are? Surely my beliefs are a private matter and don’t affect anyone but myself?"
Then let's back up. Those are superb questions. They deserve an answer.
Modern culture is only just now opening itself up to the idea that there’s more going on in reality than what meets the eye.
If you look for it, you can find tons of scientific proof showing that thoughts affect reality.
Pam Grout's spectacular book E-squared will blow your mind, even if you're a sceptic. But you don't have to believe that "consciousness creates reality" to understand that psyching yourself out (or psching yourself up) affects your experience.
Pick up any issue of Psychology Today, and I can guarantee you'll see at least one article showing how your thoughts and feelings – which includes how confident you are, how much of a risk-taker you are, etc. – result in greater or lesser success in life.
What’s going on inside your head has a HUGE impact on your life.
If you’re not confident, you might fail to put yourself forward for that new position or promotion that would launch your dream career.
If you don’t see yourself as a leader, you might stay stuck in a low-level admin job because you’d never think of trying to take on more responsibility.
And if you don't think you're sexy, you might keep your head down and miss the 1001 opportunities you have for connecting with the opposite sex.
We are where we are today because of our thoughts and feelings. It has less to do with external circumstances and everything to do with our inner game or lack thereof.
And relationships are no exception.
This may seem counterintuitive, but…
If you think you need a LOT of dating advice, or if you compulsively pick up dating books or browse dating websites, then you probably have serious work to do where inner game is concerned.
Unfortunate, but true.
If you had your inner game sorted, you wouldn't be worrying.
You would know that YOU HAVE what the right man is looking for, so there's nothing about you that needs fixing.
It’s when you DOUBT yourself that you turn to too much dating advice.
You don’t feel confident enough in the way you are, so you feel like you have to change the parts of yourself that are faulty. You don't trust your own judgment, so you look for experts to tell you how you should act and behave.
If you read a lot of dating books, you may have already INTERNALIZED negative messages that are hurting your chances with men.
Here's a particularly bad one:
The idea that you have to SELL YOURSELF.
You've heard this before. This idea that it's YOUR responsibility to show yourself off to men ... like a Powerpoint presentation to an indifferent client. You have to package yourself in an attractive way; you have to show off your best points; you have to treat a date like a job interview. You have to start from the position that he won’t be interested in you unless you CONVINCE him to be interested.
Now, if you already had TOTAL self-belief and simply needed permission to show off, that advice would be great.
But usually it's not taken like that.
Usually, women take that advice as meaning: WHO THEY ARE isn't good enough.
They believe that something about them is wrong, and THAT is why they're not attracting anyone really great.
So you feel like you have to cover up your flaws, highlight your assets, and hide who you are in favor of being who you THINK you should be. Surely there's a better way?
No woman should feel she has to voluntarily give all her power away to a man and give HIM the right to “choose” her.
There's IS a better way...
That way is called INNER GAME.
It takes you from POWERLESS to sitting back in the POWER SEAT.
When you've got your inside sussed, you know that you don't need to sell yourself, because you ARE yourself.
Therein lies the hard bit.
If it were only a simple matter of BELIEVING in yourself, ANYONE could do it.
But anyone who’s tried to WILL themselves into being more confident knows that you can’t make yourself believe something you don’t believe.
Inner game isn’t as easy as snapping your fingers.
It takes a lot of work, and a lot of dedication. You have to TRAIN your mind to think differently.
You can't just WANT it. You have to BE it.
That's why I developed a program. It is an e-book, instantly downloadable. You could have it on your desktop/mobile device and be reading it within the next five minutes, if you choose.
This program will challenge your thinking. Turn your world upside. And give you what I like to call the ultimate makeover...
A Mind Makeover.
I originally called my program a Guide to Fearless Dating, but it's much more than that.
It's a foundation for ALL dating and relationships success - the perfect complement to other dating programs. So I thought hard and gave it a new name...
My Mind Makeover e-book looks NOTHING like your mama's dating guide.
It uses "Thought Therapy" to help you completely re-orient your thinking 180 degrees.
Together, we'll take on limiting beliefs like "I'm not that attractive. Men wouldn't be interested in me. There are hardly any decent guys out there anyway."
We'll replace them with new beliefs that leave you feeling confident, powerful, and ready to take on the world.
You'll build on a foundation of 4 Powerhouse Principles to rethink everything everyone has ever told you about love, men and relationships.
And the result will be an almost MAGICAL switch in your relationships with men ... from hardly any male attention to admiring smiles wherever you go!
Plus you'll start attracting better-quality men ... the kind of men you'd actually LIKE to date, rather than the bland Nice Guys or slimy Bad Boys you've been stuck with in the past.
Imagine what it will feel like when you...
|Give off the kind of good energy men crave. It's like wearing an irresistible perfume that men can't resist!|
|Regain your sense of personal power around men, even the ones that leave you weak at the knees. Men love strong women, and you'll be fearless!|
|Feel in control, desirable, confident, and the star of your own romantic destiny. You'll also learn to avoid the bad vibes that put men off or make them see you as "just" a friend.|
|Weed out the flakes, jerks, and playboys in favor of a quality man who loves you for who you are.|
|Master the art of first impressions. Learn to convey the "right" messages to men and correct any "wrong" messages you may have been sending.|
|Try the ultimate "beauty cream." You'll look younger, more radiant, and simply stunning if you make this a priority in your life.|
|Say goodbye to nerves or anxiety in social situations. You don't have to work at making men like you, because this simple technique will have them looking for any excuse to meet you.|
|Feel great about yourself, even if you don't like your looks or the way your life is going right now. Beating up on yourself never helps, and I'll help you banish that critical voice for good.|
|Get excited about your love life! Worrying won't help you meet someone, but it's a difficult habit to give up. Luckily, I'll teach you how to "reprogram" those old fears.|
|De-code the secret signals that tell you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, whether or not you should pursue a relationship.|
|What every man wishes you'd understand about him. If you can grasp this, you won't be disappointed in men again - and you'll make his life much happier!|
|Know when to trust your feelings and when to be wary. Sometimes, our own feelings can betray us by convincing us that a man is "The One" when he's really just a heart-breaker. Learn to listen to your heart's messages wisely.|
|Deal with rejection or break-ups without getting hurt. This simple perspective switch will have you moving on painlessly and smiling at life again before you know it.|
|Discover the truth about bed buddies, bad boys, and playing hard to get.|
|Tackle the emotional baggage that you've accumulated over years of heartbreak. Don't let old wounds sabotage your new relationships!|
|Find new energy to motivate you in your search for love. If you're tired, fed up, or just plain frustrated with the dating game, then this simple technique will get you back on track and loving it!|
|Never worry about what's going to happen to you or whether you're going to finally meet your soulmate ever again.|
I'm the author/co-author of ten books with dating advice giants 000Relationships.com and MeetYourSweet.com. I've written endless articles about men, attraction, dating, sexual chemistry and marriage for publication across the web. Learn more about my other books.
You can even look me up on Facebook, where I share inspirational quotes, news, links and thoughts about dating and relationships.
Or you can listen to what others say...
"I've had the pleasure of knowing Amy Waterman for many years. Amy is an amazingly insightful and gracious person who has lived all over the world. In creating 'Real Women, Real Love' Amy proves once again that she's completely in tune with women of all ages, and with their desires for happiness and fulfillment.
"Amy is highly knowledgeable yet very down to earth. She is deeply compassionate, which always shines through her writing. If you already know Amy Waterman, then you know exactly what I mean. If you're new to Amy Waterman, then you're about to meet the sweet and wise sister and friend that everyone would love to have!"
"I've not only used your advice to meet and attract the love of my life, I've gained confidence in myself that I never had before"
"I have a little bit of weight and I used to use that as my excuse for why men always dated me then dumped me. I was actually quite skeptical when I came across your site, but I tried your mini course and found the advice to be something that I could really relate to and that's when I started to make some changes to my attitude and the way I live my life...
I've not only used your advice to meet and attract the love of my life, I've gained confidence in myself that I never had before. I'm no longer as shy around men as I used to be and I really feel valuable as a person. My new man treats me like none have ever before. And he loves spending time with me, which is great! I'm certain we wouldn't be together right now if it wasn't for what I learnt from you and I owe you my heartfelt thanks!"
"Your tips have given me invaluable help on how to create interest in a man and to keep it!"
"I want to thank you so much for all your advice and let you know how helpful it has been to me ... It's been 17 years since the last time I've dated. I am 45 years old and recently divorced and have re-entered the new electronic age of dating. I seemed to scare the guys off after the first date and wasn't sure why. Your tips have not only reminded me of the power of my own confidence, but have given me invaluable help on how to create interest in a man, and to keep it! Now I'm glad to say, "it's raining men, hallelujah!"
Now I have these guys eating out of my hand and sad when I can't see them for a week. I had one man bring me a dozen roses, 8 CD's he'd made for me, and a bottle of perfume all on the same date! Thanks for all your help, and keep up the good work!"
Mind Makever: How Inner Game Gets the Guy is an e-book (PDF format), and it is only available online from this website.
It's a digital download package, which means you can be opening my e-book on your computer/mobile device and starting my program within minutes. It's easy, and it's safe. All sales are handled through Clickbank, the internet's largest digital products retailer.
Clickbank takes your privacy and security seriously. It handles all payment details with the utmost confidentiality, employing strong encryption technologies to keep sensitive personal and financial information secure.
When you purchase my e-book, you've got an incredible opportunity ahead of you. If you commit to the principles I teach, and take the time to understand the Four Pillars and seriously ask yourself the questions in my book, then I know you will see a huge transformation in your life.
But everyone is different, and that's why I want to offer a complete satisfaction guarantee. If you've given my program your best shot and it's not what you wanted or expected, then you can contact me within 8 weeks of your purchase, and I'll give you a FULL refund. That's all there is to it. There's a contact link at the bottom of this page.
Thanks for hanging out with me. :-)
I look forward to spending more time with you soon!
Bonus #1: Use AFFIRMATIONS to Reinforce Your Inner Game
You'll also receive an incredible tool to supercharge your confidence and help you achieve any goal. It works solely through the power of the mind, and it's called Affirmations.
In the first half of my Guide to Affirmations, I teach you all about affirmations: what they are, how they work, how to use them, and how to create your own.
In the second half, I give you 14 beautifully illustrated affirmations for love. Practice these daily to supercharge your romantic success!
Bonus #2: Restore & Rejuvenate Relationships with This Guide
You'll also get this powerful mini-book, The Secret to A Happy Relationship.This powerful advice can transform your relationships and ensure that the man you find falls more in love with you every day!
I couldn't live without this advice. I practice it consciously every day. You'd never guess that a mini-book could make such a difference, but once you've discovered the secret to a happy relationship, you'll never settle for "good enough" ever again!
Bonus #3: Thinking of Living Together? Read This.
If you're thinking about moving in with him, get this e-book NOW. Living with Him: What To Know Before You Move In is essential reading before you make any decision to share a living space.
Make sure you do it RIGHT. Be prepared for how living together will impact your relationship. Find out if living together will give you a stronger marriage, whether you need to set ground rules before making the plunge, and whether you need to make an informal or formal moving-in agreement. Dry stuff? Sure. Necessary? ABSOLUTELY.
Bonus #4: The Ultimate Quote Book
I love quotes about love and relationships, and I collect them regularly from sources as varied as novels and social media.
This mini-book collects all my favorite dating & relationship quotes in one place. It includes quotes to make you laugh, quotes to help you get over a breakup, quotes to inspire you to lead your greatest life possible, and quotes about love and marriage.
Bonus #5: Answers to Your Most Burning Questions
You'll also get a Q&A with me where I tackle the real issues behind various reader questions.
It's fun, irreverent, and the perfect mini-book to browse through on a coffee break. You'll discover why worrying doesn’t solve any problems, why trying too hard to be sexy can backfire, how attraction works, the easiest way to make a man happy, how to know if he’s “The One,” and some thoughts to consider on your wedding day.
Limited Time Bonus: Membership to Amazing Self and 1st Edition for FREE (Value: $37)
I'm also throwing in an optional Limited Time Bonus: membership to Amazing Self, with your first edition thrown in for free!
With Amazing Self, each month you'll discover more powerful ways to becoming the best possible version of yourself on a physical, mental and interpersonal level. You'll uncover secrets to long-term love-life success, you'll learn how to achieve virtually any goal in life that you set for yourself AND you'll become an inspiration to men whom you're interested in dating and other people in your life.
To get this Limited Time Bonus, make sure to check the box on the order page. Please note that Amazing Self costs $37 per month after the first month. You can cancel your membership at any time.